Kautsar Abd Rahman

It feels rather weird writing my entry from Cardiff.

A whole chapter on London has ended for me. It feels like…this is it. I no longer have an address in the UK and could no longer call myself a Londoner. Not that I ever have, anyway, but still. And leaving behind the chaos of Beaux-Art along with Emir and Imar and my brother at Finsbury Park feels a bit melancholic. Not sad, but I have that homesick feeling at the back of my mind.

Leaving the house in its original condition, albeit slightly bruised.

I will definitely remember the times in Beaux-Arts with fond memories. From the happy times we sing and have terrible jokes to the sheer annoyance of sharing a house with two teenage boys (seriously, you guys don’t know to wipe the counter?).  Even at the last moment, after we said farewell and feeling all ‘awwwww’ and sad, and leaving the house with happy thoughts the boys didn’t fail to irritatingly-amuse us by making me and Shaz sort 10 kg worth of shillings on Llyod’s coffee table just because they were too tired to pour it into a change-machine near our house!! We have this whole ‘balang’ of shillings weighing 10kg and Shaz had gotten the boys to carry it to Morrison near our house and dump it into the change-machine where it will be sorted out automatically and the machine will give you notes. They had carried the shillings all the way to a cafe to have breakfast, which is only metres away from Morrison!! They decided not to continue their quest to Morrison cause the shillings were too heavy and came back home with it! So, me and Shaz ended up carrying the 10kg weight, along with our BAGS all the way to Bayswater and then to Oxford Street to Lloyd’s bank and ended up sorting it manually into little plastic bags! Imagine, we spent good hour sorting 10kg worth of shillings that amounted to £60 just because!

Hahaha.

It was actually rather fun, so no hard-feelings.

Really?!

There are lots of things to miss about living in Beaux- Art. The trip to the gym’s shower everyday with Shaz because our shower doesn’t work, the ‘Radio Sumatera’ by Imar and Emir, their obsession with chat-roullete which seriously amused me and Shaz, the singing sessions, the heart-to-heart session, the dinner table family meals, the dodgy moments, birthdays, Imar and Emir serious sadness over one lost football match, sharing good news with each other and all other soppy stuff like that and getting into fights with Emir over everything from causing destruction to his little HALO models by creating earthquakes to teasing the hell out of each other. And really, just the moments we share together – like a family

The End.

So, right now I am a fresh few hours into 23!!

It feels..different. I woke up checking my face if there would be anything amiss. Maybe a 23 stamped on my head, but no. I look perfectly 22.

Yesterday, about an hour before 12, I was a miserable lump at my desk. Cocooned in a fat duvet, writing furiously and sometimes stare dreamily outside the window, trying to get work done! I got hungry and there was no food in the house so I opened a can of chili tuna and warm it on the stove – only to realize there was no more bread. And realize, after I ate all of the tuna, that the tuna had expired.

I continued being a sad blimp on the mattress in the living room. I hate birthdays in May. My birthdays for the last 5 years have been a flurry event of hugging, kissing and getting back to work. May birthdays in British Education is FUN, no doubt. I always have fun with friends about. but it is a short-lived fun. A half-an-hour scream and joy before everything turned zombie again.

Then midnight came, and Aisyah called. We talked for awhile, and I felt slightly better.

I put down the phone turned to Shaz, and demanded a birthday song.

‘Shaz, cepat nyanyi untuk I’

All in a split second, the living room dimmed, Shaz ran out of her seat and Emir and Imar stood on top of the staircase, holding a plate of cakes with CANDLES and started singing!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! YEAY!!

I was screaming and clapping and jumping up and down!!

They gave me the sweetest card EVER!!! and Shaz gave me some LOVE

Made the wishes, blew candles, cut cake, eat them – back to work.

Shaz is having her exam now. If I could have one wish on my birthday today, I wish her exam is going GREAT!

Oh yes, and the birthday wishes on Facebook really just make me smile

On a last note, a special wish to the loved ones I have the pleasure and joy of always sharing this day with you, all my life :

To Aisyah Zaffan, best friend since 1992, born a day shy of mine – Happy 23rd birthday, you are mine since then till forever on.

To Fakhirah Badrulhisham, a year and 2 days later, the world is ours.

The three sisters – minutes before the ceremony began.

For someone who has been through lots of ordeal in life, my sister is one soul who deserves the happy blessings on her engagement day!

The simply beautiful dais for my sister.

She has also, non-chalantly, managed to bulldoze a lot of family tradition along the way. Which had caused a stir in the household but of course, my sister cheekily smile through it and aunts could only shake their heads. Hehe.

Demure.

She called for a dais for her to sit right in front of all the guest during the engagement proceeding instead of waiting daintily in her room (Aunt : “You’re going to parade yourself in front of the man’s family?” *terror-stricken horror at the shame of it*) , made arrangements with her friends (and me!) to throw pot-pouri to the man’s family when they enter walk towards the house (Aunt : “But it’s not a wedding! Why the elaborate welcome?”), wear bright clothes with awesome make-up by a make-up artist (Aunt : *shakes head* “Over!”)

Awesomeness.

And of course, take pictures with her fiance at the dais (which caused a tiny bit of frenzy but dealt with an arrangement not to have their photos taken as a couple, always with parents or people around them – seriously! as if they have never taken a couple photos outside the ceremony! Hehe!!)

Family sans Shen. And the new (tall) one – Ijat.

It was all very amusing, of course. My sister just smiled her way through it. Plus, our awesome cousins, her friends and I were there to support her through and through.

Cheerful faces with colorful potpourri made the welcome.

And I think all her younger cousins envied her bright, cheerful and happy ceremony. She got what she wanted, the way she wants it and it shows through her eyes, smiles and skipping footsteps (she literally skipped happily from her room to the dais, and shocked the entire room with her gaiety and lack of daintiness). And she sat in the dais with the first half-an hour demurely smiling and then the rest of the time smiling ultra-wide! Fuh!

The real deal
Kakniim, you rock my world.

Kakniim and me.

Congratulations to Kakniim and Abang Ijat !

ish ish ish..comelnye yusuf main dgn durian. bestnye!

Jumblist Massive is a pop-up charity jumble sale that stocks up last season’s URBAN OUTFITTER’S stuff and other high street brand, who gave them away for free to the organizer so they could hold this charity sale.

It’s free entry.

It’s almost like a secret sale.

It’s underground.

It’s dark.

And you pay what you think the item is worth!!

WHAT??!

So, we went there early and was the front line of the crowd pushing down the stairs the moment it opened.

Wow. Adrenaline rush. Excited and full of suspense, we rushed down only to be greeted by a dark, poorly lit with blue lights basement with arrays of stuff!

Heaps and heaps of t-shirts,dresses, pants and jackets and cardigans, and belts and bags and SHOES! with handbags and a small boy’s corner with a corner for bric-bracs  and books and board games! Whoo hoo!!!

I just grabbed belts – tan, black, white, red weave and yellow. An urban outfitter’s cable cardigan with gold buttons. A pair of black shiny shoes. And when the lady came to pour out new clothes, I just grabbed at whatever I could. And saw that I manage to got hold of a black high waist skirt, and a high waist denim button down skirt. Shaz got a really cool skinny pants for me. So awesome, it’s my best buy today!! And I got a balloon-message novelty greeting card. Oh, and a scarf.

Shaz got three awesome tops and a naughty party game set. Yum.

And Mek got some tops, a pair of glasses and scarves.

It was literally a grab and snatch deal. I even had to pull some tops from someone’s foot as things started to drop on the floor. Or just grab the shiniest or prettiest fabric and tug it HARD. And put it back in the mess when you find out it’s a silly frilly thing. The darkly lit place meant that people just take up anything and offer their price at the till. It was only when I went out that I realize that this cream colored scarf I bought is actually yellow!

I got two full plastic bags of stuff and walked away with all that for only 10 pounds!

I was sated. And the night followed on with a party

HAPPY 23RD BIRTHDAY BEDA!! MUCH LOVE TO YOU!!

Our first day was filled with a lush awe for the beauty that Edinburgh lavish out to her people. Pebble-stone roads, buildings with that charming old historical facade that line the whole stretch of Royal Mile and thin, crooked, dark and sinister sharp towers stabbing the white sky.

Snow fell heavily when we first stepped there, and dragging a dead weight of a luggage on wheel through the thick snow and icy roads IS SO NOT FUN! It’s like walking a terribly heavy dog that bumps into your back and make you lose your balance on ice or a massive burden on wheels.

But the whole city was beautiful. The snow that fell was those soft, powdery ones unlike the pelts of wet puff snow that falls in London. The dusty nature make pretty walkway as the snow shyly thin out at the edgs like sugar dusting on a pie.And speaking of baking metaphor, Mek dropped a case of eggs while running on ice with her heavy grocery bags.

HAHAHAHAAHHAAH.

The image of her panicking and running to cross the road and the case of eggs neatly plopped itself out of the bag into the snowy road in front of old ladies is really funny. She had to go back and picked them up, with the old ladies voicing their concern over her possibly broken eggs.

Will put up pictures. And continue with our first night which is the torch procession.

Ciao. Off to Festival Hall to get our theatre tickets

The last few days as got to be one stride of life that I would never want to forget.

London was hit by snow so heavily in December that, again, as in previous year, London literally stop in its track, unprepared. 50,000 people were stuck in King’s Cross St. Pancras after Eurostar couldn’t handle “the fluffy French snow” that messed up the technical transition of temperature between the Channel and sub-zero temperature outside. Lots of tears, accusation and chaos. Friends were exasperated as more bad news mean flights, trains and holiday plans got cancelled. Would be worse for students, obviously on limited finance, being stuck at their holiday destination, unable to reach home than students who cannot go on holidays. That being said, imagine the money spent on accommodation and the expectation of a good winter break!

It is weird how something as pristine and beautiful as fluffy ice front he sky could cause so much disruption. Cars skid, lorries are not allowed to move and traffic jam like sardines in can. Surprisingly, the bad weather didn’t deter the spirit of consumerism to buy buy BUY in Oxford Street. Shops and food stores across the country have never experienced record sale rise in previous years. The crowd was crazy! Haha, I should know, I was there tugging at size tags hoping to catch the last size 6 or 8 on the clothes rail. The sale is quite good. But I shall wait for boxing day. Winter means full long sleeved dress and shirts – good stuff for me to wear with my tudung in Malaysia.

The third chaos would be our Family Night In two nights ago. The snow is falling down, the living room warm, and the boys came over for a game of Cranium. Imar, Emir, Muhsin, Ozz and Afiq versus me, Feera, Aisyah, Shaz and Hidayah. It was then we knew how competitive Ozz is – he HUMS with such earnest effort, you could die laughing.  And how screwed up Shaz’s perception of horse’s gallop, and how the guys could almost commit suicide for not being able to guess George Best. Or the colour of ‘Button A’ in the old Nintendo console. Geez. The game was a tight one – encore worthy.

It was all like the rush of wind that screams in your ears amidst crystalline beauty of white snow.

I should really blog about Beaux-Art one day – the apartment next door where Sam used to stay and where my brother is staying now. Interior impressive factor aside, the best thing about this building is its roof terraces which give you a vast, 360 degree view of London from the northern perspective! You can make out the skyline of the Egg building, London Eye and even Eiffel Tower very faintly in the distant horizon!!

So, one day in autumn, a very beautiful sunset came upon us and Beda and I ran like mad to the top of Beaux Art to ravish in its glorious beauty, the best place to do so.

A very beautiful portrait of Beda.

The best thing about sunset in England is the fact that it is only for half an hour so you won’t have to brace the chilly dusk for more than that to enjoy it. You can literally see the sun gracefully bid its farewell. And you amaze at the transition of colours – from pale peach and orange to an intense burnt orange with red tinge to a forming of pink and purple, and the enveloping tones of blues that darken to a velvet cinder of the night.

Cloud etching wonders in the sky

And from the aerial view of the roof terrace, you can see houses lighting up, the street lights glowing in rows, and the humdrums of buses and vehicles coming in from Central London, the cat that would prance about the windowsill from the townhouses next to Beaux Art, people coming in and out of the kitchen and the wheel of London Eye twirls in red, blue, purple lights far,far away.

An attempt of Sartorialist.

I love autumn. Maybe because it is now winter, and bitter wind has gotten hold of the aching hollow behind my knee that I miss the soft light of autumn, the golden and red hue, the intense sunset and crisp breeze. I have done much injustice to other seasons of course by favoring Autumn. Autumn is the fresh, new slate of new academic year – it vibrates with positive energy unlike the dragged heaviness of winter that ends an academic term or the rainy panic of Spring. Summer also has bright disposition to it thanks to naturally, the Sun; and the lift of heavy burden of exam from your shoulder.

Oh Winter, thou hast thou own beauty, I shall discover and whisper them to my heart. And the same love shall be given to Spring

One night on the phone.

Sam : Bb, i nak nyanyi something, you dengar ok?

Me : MM. OK. *search for record button*

Sam : Ok..dengar tau.

Me : Ok, ok. Tgh dengar. Cepatlah nyanyi.

Sam : Ok..uhmm…suara die memang sengau sikit dalam lagu ni.

Sam :

If I was a flower growing wild and free
All I’d want is you to be my sweet honey bee.
And if I was a tree growing tall and green
All I’d want is you to shade me and be my leaves

All I want is you, will you be my bride
Take me by the hand and stand by my side
All I want is you, will you stay with me?
Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea.

If you were a river in the mountains tall,
The rumble of your water would be my call.
If you were the winter, I know I’d be the snow
Just as long as you were with me, when the cold winds blow.

All I want is you, will you be my bride
Take me by the hand and stand by my side
All I want is you, will you stay with me?
Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea.

If you were a wink, I’d be a nod
If you were a seed, well I’d be a pod.
If you were the floor, I’d wanna be the rug
And if you were a kiss, I know I’d be a hug

All I want is you, will you be my bride
Take me by the hand and stand by my side
All I want is you, will you stay with me?
Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea.

If you were the wood, I’d be the fire.
If you were the love, I’d be the desire.
If you were a castle, I’d be your moat,
And if you were an ocean, I’d learn to float.

All I want is you, will you be my bride
Take me by the hand and stand by my side
All I want is you, will you stay with me?
Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea.

Sam : Bb?? You dengar tak?

Me : awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww..*a VERY MAJOR gush follows*

So, 10 more days till we separate for awhile. We spend the weekends mostly just hanging out, visiting places we love and exploring new things we discover along the way. This weekend, however, Beda went to Bath, leaving her old-school Raleigh Cameo for us to use. Shaz, Sam and I were so jakun and took it for a ride

Despite almost getting slammed right into the poll (shaz was the culprit), and nearly hit Sam (who was crouched in front of the moving bicycle to capture the ‘best’ shot) and getting our bums numb from sitting on the wire and hard sponge, it was an awesome joyride

Thank you Shaz for the most awesome pics you took of me and Sam.

The very tiny photo of the paparazzi, running away from having her photo being taken in her ‘baju tak sesuai untuk tangkap gambar’.