I wore this to Shah Alam and got two people asking me where I was from.
First, a Bangladeshi man asked me : Mana kampung kamu?, to which I answered ‘Terengganu’.
He said : Oh, kamu dari Malaysia. And then he proceeded to ignore me.
Second, a lady asked : Kamu asal dari mana?
Me : Taman Tun Dr. Ismail.
Lady : Ye, maksud saya, negara mana?
Me : ??????
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The theme of the ceremonies have been confirmed.
Our ‘akad nikah’ (vowing ceremony), which will be at night, will see people in green and my sister in absolute white. And she’s wearing chiffon, which will make her look like a floating fairy princess. The reception’s theme will be cream and black, with a background of gold and red but that’s not too important in term of colour scheme. I have recruited Putri, my BFF since forever and Aishah Salim, another BFF, to help out during the wedding day. The reception on the guy’s side, in Rompin, Pahang, will be purple/pink.
For the akad nikah, we will be serving ‘Nasi Tomato’, and a special main of ‘kambing golek’ (roast whole lamb on giant skewer). The reception party will have ‘Nasi minyak’ and we will have a ‘teh tarik’ corner outside the hall, with delicacies to tempt people to chill out outside and leave the tables inside for newly arrived guests.
The band have confirmed their choice of songs, and I just need to get two guitar amps for them, and drums. Or percussions. We will see.
On a side note, I have received a package from Lincoln’s Inn. In it, they have sent me warm welcome to their Inn, along with a brochure showing London landscape which I know too well, and the inside views of the Inn itself and a list of things that I can expect to happen this exciting new term.
I have also received an email from City Law School asking if I would confirm my studies with them and that they are willing to extend the deadline for me to pay and confirm registration.
Basically, the path to London is still open for me, no matter how hard I try to close it and put it behind me.
Look, if I have the means to finance myself there, I would go. But I don’t, and that means, gulping down while typing NO to the law school and keep the Lincoln’s Inn membership card as a memorabilia.
Here’s to future.
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1. Organize wedding for these two awesome people.
2. Making Yusuf fall in love with his moksa/che’sa/acha/macha
3. Cik Abang.
Basically how my days are nowadays. Tomorrow I would have to come out with a playlist for the reception ceremony. Kakniim seem to want light love songs, possibly Malay, but nothing too dramatic. I still need to confirm the band act, performance by cousins, video by Muhsin, and bridesmaid’s garment. And make sure Ayah call the tent people to rent few of those huge iron fans or else people will just melt away in the sun!
Pretty awesome.
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Mountain train in Interlaken, Switzerland.
This post is specially for banis who insisted I update this little space of a blog. A very special, choked-up thank you, with all my heart.
Here goes.
Life has gone a long way since this carefree travel down the train tracks and I cherish all of it very,very much and have decided to take extra time and care to carefully archive the stories. Although, the longer I wait, the more bittersweet it will be. Such are memories. You turn back to the pictures taken and fall back into the green grass that was once your bed.
Travelling and abruptly ending it all with an infinite stop in the last point of the terminal for a long time is taking more toll on me than I thought it will be. My memorabilia from one month worth of travelling is lodged inside a shoe box – along with maps, receipts and magnets. Opening the box and tracing my finger on top of the pieces of treasures I picked up and kept takes extreme effort. Searching for pictures to put inside this post makes my heart swell with longing.
At one point, there was a bit of hope to begin again. I might do my Bar in the UK after all. I still have another year ahead to more heady travels.
It didn’t happen.
Like Odysseus who returned to the arms of Penelope after the long years of travelling and swallowed his longing for the sea deep inside him, I stored the memories and hope inside the shoe box, within the RAM digital memories of SD cards and laptop, buried.
I am not crying, nor regretting. In fact, I feel at peace. I have stepped into the role I have been expected to – to report for duty at SC, to become my sister’s wedding manager and bridesmaid and taking care of household stuff.
And these are the things that matter most now.
My longing to be away again is not forgotten. It will happen again – at one point, it will.
Now, for the wedding reception 
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So, right now I am a fresh few hours into 23!!
It feels..different. I woke up checking my face if there would be anything amiss. Maybe a 23 stamped on my head, but no. I look perfectly 22.
Yesterday, about an hour before 12, I was a miserable lump at my desk. Cocooned in a fat duvet, writing furiously and sometimes stare dreamily outside the window, trying to get work done! I got hungry and there was no food in the house so I opened a can of chili tuna and warm it on the stove – only to realize there was no more bread. And realize, after I ate all of the tuna, that the tuna had expired.
I continued being a sad blimp on the mattress in the living room. I hate birthdays in May. My birthdays for the last 5 years have been a flurry event of hugging, kissing and getting back to work. May birthdays in British Education is FUN, no doubt. I always have fun with friends about. but it is a short-lived fun. A half-an-hour scream and joy before everything turned zombie again.
Then midnight came, and Aisyah called. We talked for awhile, and I felt slightly better.
I put down the phone turned to Shaz, and demanded a birthday song.
‘Shaz, cepat nyanyi untuk I’
All in a split second, the living room dimmed, Shaz ran out of her seat and Emir and Imar stood on top of the staircase, holding a plate of cakes with CANDLES and started singing!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! YEAY!!
I was screaming and clapping and jumping up and down!!
They gave me the sweetest card EVER!!! and Shaz gave me some LOVE 
Made the wishes, blew candles, cut cake, eat them – back to work.
Shaz is having her exam now. If I could have one wish on my birthday today, I wish her exam is going GREAT!
Oh yes, and the birthday wishes on Facebook really just make me smile
On a last note, a special wish to the loved ones I have the pleasure and joy of always sharing this day with you, all my life :
To Aisyah Zaffan, best friend since 1992, born a day shy of mine – Happy 23rd birthday, you are mine since then till forever on.
To Fakhirah Badrulhisham, a year and 2 days later, the world is ours.
Yesterday, I slept feeling slightly blue.
I had a long day, pretty much dotted with unlucky things.
First, my laptop was ravaged by virus. I could hear my laptop gasping, beating, blinking – trying its best, in Agent Smith form, fighting Neo – Neo who forced me to buy anti-virus from its own software and uploaded porn on my desktop.
Damn you, Neo. Don’t attack the system!
I have officially packed my laptop away unceremoniously, it’s resting place is under my bed. Oh yes, my lecture + tutorial notes are inside the laptop too, of course. But i managed to save it after a long while and have safely printed it.
Thanks to Shaz.
And before I went to bed, I took out my contact lenses – the last pair I own, because I cannot afford another pair here and am waiting for my sister to send one to me – and tore it in my eye.
Yeay.
Now I have to wear my yellow + pink plastic glasses to school. With tudung.
Some people look awesome wearing hijab and glasses, but I look weird. And I feel weird.
So, I woke up today, feeling flat. I have never fell flat for a while now. And it’s just flat.
Sigh. Thank God for a tub of B&J in the freezer.
Alhamdulilah, everything else is alright and I am still breathing for now. Here’s to a better day.
Gender Recognition Act 2004 -
If you’re a woman but have lived as a man for the past two years, you can apply to be a man under Gender Recognition Act, and you will after the court’s approval become a man.
So, you can legally marry a woman, because the GRA 2004 will treat you, for all purpose, as a man.
But, a woman could never be a father, she/he can only be a female parent to a child.
The court realize the potential mental and psychological impact this may have on a child but it is outweighed by people’s right and autonomy to determine their sex.
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The court finds it difficult to ascertain the legal fatherhood of a child when a woman cohabits with another man right after separating with her husband. The court would have to determine the date or period of conceiving the baby to conclude who is the real father.
Islam says, a woman has to be legally divorced from her husband and abstain herself from going into another marriage for a period of up to three menstrual cycle to avoid this exact problem.
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A woman divorced her husband on the basis of unreasonable behavior because he demanded to have his feet tickled every evening. Another woman divorced her husband because he couldn’t fix the toilet door after 8 months of nagging him.
Islam says a woman could not call for divorce against her husband, and it’s justification seems to be that women are naturally emotional and might take drastic action when they are in the moods.
Islam makes human life simple and true to its nature.
Last weekend we had visitors. Hunny and Bell came down to London, so I took the chance to get out of the house and take pictures in Hyde Park. It was so brilliantly sunny, and flowers were literally getting sunburn – they’ve gone crisp and brown – especially delicate blossoms such as roses. Nonetheless, it’s all green everywhere, and there were THOUSANDS of people frolicking in the sun.
Sole purpose of this picture is to show you how long my legs are. For once!
I don’t necessarily get the hype over a spot of sun in the grass. Yes, I appreciate the sun after the long drought of winter, but I prefer the softer shine of spring with flowers growing and budding and chill breeze about. Or maybe because it is hard to say farewell to fair, winter-bleached skin I am having now. Ahh shucks. After exams and summer in Europe, I’ll be proper brown with my freckles more defined (they have been there all my life but after Turkey last summer, they seem more obvious)!
All purple and pink
I am studying in front of a full-wall window and dang, my hands are getting tanned as I work! Complaint aside, it is beautiful to study with the sky right above you, and puffy clouds travelling across the blue ocean – and volcanic ash opaque in the far distant. The pictures are taken by my cousin, Faisal whom had the honorable duty as the photographer. We came to Hyde Park with the girls dragging their luggage and sat for about few minutes before thay rushed to Victoria to catch their bus to Cardiff. But it was so beautiful and so nice to just laze and sit for a bit, it was worth it I wished they had more time so we could chill for longer in the sun together.
Daffodil in abundance!
When they left, I walked with Faisal from Queensway’s part of Hyde Park all the way to Trafalgar Square!! Stopping briefly at Marble Arch, Buckingham Palace and Green Park and Serpentine lake. It seemed so far away compared to when we ran around the same route during London Amazing Race! So far away and so so HOT, I got sunstroke after that and had headache that night.
Omg, gediknya, macam mana nak balik Malaysia ni?? *drama* hehe.
It turns out I would be unable to continue my studies in the UK. My sponsors advised me against it, wanting me to return to work for them instead. Understandably so.
My first thought was, there goes my big,big dream to earn a Bar qualification along with LLM – that’s Masters for Law- and the chance to apply for PhD in the US. Yes, I had dreamed of Yale and Harvard. High up there in dream list along with owning a Chanel 2.55 and giving birth to a baby girl.
It’s a far-fetched dream, and in my mind it starts with Bar Qualification at Bristol. Having had to push that aside, I thought I would be more devastated than what I am feeling right now which is slightly disappointed, but extremely looking forward to what I can do for life.
Having lots of laughter helps, I suppose.
The main reason I wanted a Bar Qualification is not for my sponsor. They have more than enough good barristers in the company. I wanted it so badly because of Legal Aid clinic in KL. I wanted to regularly volunteer there, and having a Bar means you can take on the cases further from advising to taking a court action. That was my main objective of a Bar.
But then I realized, having thought things through, I wouldn’t have been able to do it anyway. I wouldn’t have the time. I would be a fresh graduate, on hands and feet all the time chasing deadlines and running errands. And legal aid is not open on weekends – and my weekdays will be filled with work and family. Weekends with Sam? 
So, maybe there is a hikmah behind all this after all. I could go back home, work for SC, volunteer what I can anywhere that is convenient to my work life later, and do CLP. CLP is cramping 3 years of Malaysian law degree to 9 months and shove down the throat of helpless law graduates from oversea. Ye-ay.
I want to be a barrister, no matter what, InsyaAllah. If I have to take the slower route of CLP, then a chambering, then so be it.
I hope I won’t melt and settle.
On another note, Fehy said her heart screams at the corporation reign in this world and her hippie self is trapped. She is doing her internship with Hijjas-Kasturi.
I told her, we have to be that energizer bunny that feeds the corporation national – we’re the batteries, just like in Matrix. But it doesn’t mean we would lose it all. We just have to make sure to nurture our spiritual side too, and not abandon it.
Having said that, I am not pessimistic. I have enjoyed working with SC, and it is a great place to work in and I look forward to WORK.
This whole moving out of the cocoon of student life is giving me a funny feeling. I don’t feel rather ready to step out yet..
BUT HECK! I reckon after I go through the next 2 months of extremely intense studying, I would run out of the cocoon and curse it from far away!
Here’s to sanity.
Congratulations.
I have accidentally deleted my essay draft on Microsoft Word.
Great!
I missed Cardiff Euro Games, did work through out the weekends, only to click on the box that says :
No, I have saved all the documents I need.
So, Word didn’t give me a second chance. It threw away my Auto-save document. One tiny document.
And then my eyes swiftly glance at the document, and wondered what document did I open recently.
I feel another heart attack coming.
My baby. My essay draft. All that points I brainstormed while listening to Maksin mrvica’s Cubana. All the reading list of journals that I want to include in my essay, and little snippets of points and elaboration which I jot down. And of course, summary of cases which I needed to get my essay done.
Now I have 3 days.
Very Naice.